So on feeling obligated: ask yourself how really obligated you are. Sometimes we put undue pressure on ourselves to say “yes” to more than we really have to. If you despise an event that much maybe you can find another way to contribute to that community without having to do/be somewhere you’d really prefer not to be.
I understand you may have to say yes to some commitments. For those I recommend reframing your perspective. Example: a friend of mine had a birthday at a country and western bar, not my “thing”, but I chose to have a good time with it, make a fool of myself line dancing, and kind of disliked the music but had a blast overall, because I “had to be there” for his 30th. His new girlfriend at the time, chose not to have fun and generally intent on ensuring she ruined the evening as she was miserable and wanted company. You’ll get over the music, sweater, etc. and actually enjoy yourself. It is 100% a choice, whether you like that truth or not, when we take personal responsibility for our attitude and choices it changes our potential to be happy despite _______, in any moment. So choose to make the best and it will be!
The food is also about personal responsibility, but from another perspective. It’s about being responsible to yourself, and honouring yourself and your goals. Not to say that you should have none of those things, but choose wisely, according to your favourites and don’t arrive starving (you’ve heard all the logistics before when it comes to thanksgiving food tips).
From a mentality perspective though, do it because you care about your goals and yourself enough to make choices that serve you. This can be challenging, I am not denying this, but leaves you feeling really good in the end rather than temporarily comforted by food.
Come back to that little devil and angel on your shoulder and listen for the angel. S/he’ll speak more quietly and comes with more amount of “feeling” the right thing usually more so than hearing “do what serves you”, in fact I’m sure you’ll seldom, if ever, hear that. Whereas that little devil will speak loudly with all kinds of convoluted logic like “you’ve already ruined it, by having ______, so just have everything you want”, or “ the broccoli cheese puffs totally have a serving of veggies for every 2 puffs, you should eat 6 to get in your remaining veggies for the day!”, these are silly examples, but you know that loud, clear, easy-to-understand voice that basically finds excuses to “okay” what you know really doesn’t fly, and sometimes that “logic” is equally as silly as my examples when heard repeated back at a later time!
And so I leave you with this for surviving the parties: Honour yourself! Honour your need to say no when you don’t have to. Honour yourself with choosing a great attitude in a not-preferred situation to make the best of what is and must be, and honour yourself enough to choose what is an okay treat to truly enjoy and what’s going unnecessarily overboard (and in the end won’t really enjoy, and may even feel guilty about).
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© Lisa Kingsley-Correia and Create Fitness Health and Wellness, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.